WARNING: Sensitive content will follow.
This book is tough, not in a bad way, but let me warn you know if you are sensitive at all to the notions of depression and suicide you might want to bypass this story and review.
What if you fell into your favorite book world or the story you created. In Kill Your Darlings Kayla gets that chance. This is a book based in fantasy yet also not. Kayla wakes up one morning in the story world she created believing it to be a dream at first. When she fails to wake herself from her dream world she realizes she is trapped there, but is that such a bad thing? In her real life Kayla is depressed and facing a deadline. Why not just spend the rest of her life with her draconic best friend and the rest of her “darlings”. Enter, Zalor, the dark lord that is trying to take over the fantasy world Kayla created.
Solera is under attack and receding into darkness. So, Kayla imagines, that this is the reason she is stuck in her book world, she must venture on a hero’s journey. She is to be the hero of her own story. Or is she?
In the end Kayla is teetering in a world between life and death when she decides to be the hero of her own story, the real life story. The story where she is dying in the bath tub from self inflicted wounds.
See I told you this book/review is tough!
I loved the story. I loved the weaving of fantasy and reality. The forces of darkness and the parallels to deep depression. But there was also light and hope. It was hard to see the main character repeatedly fall into despair and self loathing that is a trademark of deep depression. There were slivers of hope and in the end the reality is not so beautiful as the fantasy but much more sad and gut wrenching.
The story took me on those highs and lows and was beautifully written. I felt very attached to Kayla’s story as I believe many would. Anyone can be where she was throughout this story and hopefully in the end survive. The story kind of rips your heart out once you realize what truly has transpired and then you just root for Kayla to survive.
Given my own battles with depression this story hit the mark on so many levels, true at first it seems to be a cheesy fantasy story (don’t get me wrong I loooove those stories too) but underneath it is a raw look at mental health. I have been on the edge of the knife and I am lucky that I saw the light and pulled back. The mind is a scary place to dwell sometimes. I am glad to say, like Kayla, I am a survivor.
I wanted to extend a thank you to L.E. Harper, the author of this book, for writing this story so beautifully. It is raw but also disguised as fantasy and I think could help others see the hope in the light and fight for another day.
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